“All of the conflicts were arguments over what sexual services I would not offer, and also because I refused to give out personal information (phone number, email, etc) or meet my clients outside of work.”
“I created a ‘fictional life’ for my companion persona. I always use those stories. If excessive questions are asked, I usually say, “Why are you asking?” I keep turning the questions back on people who ask questions.”
Conflicts with customers are inevitable, as they are in any service industry. Some customers will pester you for services you don’t offer, try to talk you down from your price, or try to control you in some other way.
If you show up to a date and your booking person misguided him about your appearance, you are about to experience a conflict. If a guy from front row yells obscenities during your first song, you are about to experience a conflict.
Learn to anticipate potential conflict so you are ready to respond quickly and decisively.
You can also reduce conflicts for other workers. Remember that it is not necessary to return the slander a customer spews out. There is a sex industry worker coming after you who may receive the blunt of it.
If you work in more than one area of the sex industry, try to keep them separate. For instance, don’t offer hand jobs under the guise of exotic dancing. Or if you do, ensure the men understand not to expect that of other exotic dancers.
If you find yourself in a conflict with a client and you are having trouble getting control of the situation, ask the client to stop the behaviour in question. If you work in an establishment with security, have the client removed. If you are working alone and the client is drunk or abusive, end the session and leave immediately.
Be very alert as to how you are treated. If you can see that a customer is trying to disrespect you or demean you, end the session and leave immediately. Say, “I am unable to proceed with this appointment.” If you work for an agency, request not to see that person again. Network with other sex workers to inform each other of “bad dates.”
Web cam work frequently results in being verbally abused online. The free chat option allows haters unlimited access to sex industry workers. The best thing to do is to ignore them and stay smiling. Nicer clients will surely come to your defense, or would rather book a show.
Don’t waste your time with the jerkasses. And, make sure you can debrief with someone, as verbal abuse against sex workers is a hate crime and can be very demoralizing.